Thursday, February 5, 2009

The Morning I though I was going to die on my bike.

I recently had a flashback today as I was sorting through my newspapers and organizing my coupons. I had a quick jaunt over to Office Depot (on State and 5900 S) who is shutting their doors and selling all of their inventory for 40-60% off. (Seriosly, go over and take a look. I got Shae a stash of crayons, pencils, glue all for $1.00-.50.) So I bought a coupon organizer for my new found hobby of collecting newspapers and clipping coupons.

Anyway, as I was sorting and organizing, I had a flashback of the morning I was riding my bike and I thought I was being hunted down by a dark blue beetle. What's that you say? Yup, I thought my life was in extreme danger, let me share.

It was April of 2007, and Brian and I had signed up to do the Salt Lake City Marathon/Bike Tour. In the month of April, the temperature around 6:30 am is a nice warm 43 degress and it is still dark. When I ride my bike, I insist on it being at least 60 degrees and nice and bright. The conditions of the race were not meeting to my standards, neverless I had to train to meet the conditions of the race. One Saturday morning, I awoke early, threw on all of my warmest bike gear and decided to ride my bike around the neighborhood because I thought I would be safer there. We have a large loop around my ward that is very familiar and safe (or so I thought).

As I was riding down one of the streets, I see a set of headlights pull on to the street behind me. I take a glance back to be aware of where on the street they are driving and to make sure that they see me. The car starts swerving back and forth and making abrupt stops. My mind races as I am thinking that someone was coming home in the wee hours of the morning drunk and intoxicated. Great!

I veer onto the main road and decide to not ride in the neighborhood because of my newly found friend, but received a very strong prompting a few minutes later that I needed to go back. What? With the drunk car? Alright, maybe they have found their home and parked their car and have passed out on the front lawn. So I turn around and headed back.

As I am riding down the street that my church is located on, I am approaching an intersection and I see the swervy headlights turn the corner on to my street and now is driving straight towards me head on. Mind you on a bike you obey all traffic laws and so the beetle was on the wrong side of the road and looking to want to run me over (on my side of the road.) I jump the curb with my bike and pull onto the side walk and then onto the grass. I figured if this was a game of "hit the biker, 100 points" then all evidence would have to be on someone's lawn showing that I was hunted down and a victim of the whole event. The beetle passes me after I jump the curb and pulls into the drive way of the next house. They turn around and start heading in my direction.

I pull out my cell phone to look like I am calling 911, or be ready to call 911 and the beetle drives by very slowly. The windows are tinted and I can only see 2 figures in the car. They drive by me up the street a ways and stop. They drive some more and stop again. What? Are they watching me to see where I go? I watch them drive up the street stopping and swerving and then when they reached the top of the street they turned right. My house was at the top of the street but turn left. I figured if I hopped on my bike and pedaled as fast as I could, I could beat them to the top of the street before they returned. Because when you turn right, that road circles around back to the street that I was presently standing on.

So, I hopped on my bike and pedaled as fast as I could, legs burning, chest heaving, I mean I was going as hard as I ever have in my entire life. My eyes are keeping an eye on the turn around street where the beetle should be coming and as I am about to pass the intersecting point, I see the beetle come around the corner and stop. Dang it! They were looking for me now. So I pulled into the driveway of a fellow ward member and hid behind their big truck. The beetle pulls forward and stops again. Pure evilness trying to hunt me down and hurt me. The beetle then makes a right hand turn going the opposit direction of my home. Phew!

I came out from behind the truck and pedaled as fast as I could back to my house and bust through the garage door to find Brian reading in bed.

"Someone........(hard breathing) trying to hit me .........................with their car." I exclaimed.

"WHAT!!!!??!!!" My husband jumps up angry and is now throwing clothes on.

"I think.................they are drunk.................and I was a game........................maybe 100 pts or something....................(still gasping for breath).

"WHERE ARE THEY AND WHAT ARE THEY DRIVING?" he protested as he turns into my protective hero and guardian.

I explained to him a dark blue beetle with tinted windows, where I had seen them last and that they were swerving and to be careful. Brian busts out the door in search of my newly found enemy. He is gone for about 20 minutes and returns and says he found a dark blue beetle parked in the driveway of a home just down the street. He then wants me to come with him to identify the vehicle before he walks up to their door way and starts a not so friendly conversation.

He drives me to the home in his truck and I see the beetle, but it was not the evil beetle trying to run me down. The windows are not tinted and it had a spoiler, where my evil beetle did not. We decide to drive some more around the neighborhood and I told him to drive to the opposite end of our neighborhood. When I had last seen them and they turned right, that was the direction they were heading in.

So we drive around and all of the sudden, there is the dark blue beetle with tinted windows and still driving around all crazy. Brian wants to pull up next to them to let them have it and as we pull of closer to their little beetle, the beetle stops and an object is thrown from the window. Upons closer observation, it was a newspaper. A NEWSPAPER!! They were not drunk, they were stopping and swerving because they were delivering newspapers that morning.

Brian continues to pull up to them and wants to still talk about our almost head on collision when they were driving on the wrong side of the street. So we pull up and I slump down in utter humiliation.

"Did you guys see a biker this morning." Brian asks.

"yes!" They reply.

"Well, that was my wife here," I peer around him and waved "and you almost hit her. You need to be aware that as it is getting warmer that people will be out exercising and out on the roads. You almost hit my wife this morning."

"No we didn't." was their only reply.

"Yes you did, you scared me!" I squeeked out!

"Just remember that you are not alone in the mornings and to be careful." Brian warned as we pulled away.

I felt so dumb. In my defence, I never saw or heard a newspaper fly or hit the concrete. All I saw was headlights and they were following me. Brian and I had a great laugh about that all the rest of the day.

Needless to say, as I am now taking the newspaper to collect my coupons, I cannot help and wonder if they were delivered by my drunk dark blue beetle? Oh well, either way, I cannot help but chuckle when I see a newspaper in my driveway. It's almost like a reminder of a threat or something. Ha ha!


Mom of twins.. said...

Wow, that was quite the story.. I can see why you would have been scared. Glad that it was just a newspaper delivery guy!

Carrie said...

You should have thrown $2 at them to be done with them (have you seen Better Off Dead?). I would have been terrified too.

Ann Marie said...

I remember when this happened, and we had a good laugh, but I would have been terrified also!

Yay for happy endings!

Jenice Henrie said...

I remember when this happened so it spoiled the ending for me. You do have a telent for writing and you should try writing some short stories. One might trigger into something. Good luck, I was smiling the entire time I was reading this, but only because I knew the ending.

You have always had an great imagination. I remember a many a fork and knife coming to life while waiting for dinner.

Me said...

I have to admit that when I first read the beginning I was picturing this little blue beetle (similar to a stink-bug) on the sidewalk trying to stalk you or something.

So I don't know if I was laughing at the story or because I'm such an idiot, but anyhow, it was a very entertaining memory. Thanks for sharing.

Notre Folle Vie said...

Wow! Ann's post had me crying, yours had me on the edge of my seat and then laughing, too many emotions. Loved the story though and mom is right you have a great story telling ability.

The Petersen Twins said...

That was sooo funny! Newspapers! Good thing I don't ride in the early morning but if/when I do, I'll keep this story in mind... lol


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