Tuesday, September 15, 2009

What would you do?

So I have been pondering certain things the last few days and I am not sure what to do.

I have decided to seek advice from my fellow blog friends. I present you my two cases and want to know what you think about them.

Scenario #1

2 weeks ago I bought a book that I didn't like. Yes, I read the entire book to every last word. I don't want the book anymore. I would prefer to not have it in my home. Do I:

a. Give it to someone else. However, I struggle with this because it is not of my standards and what is the message I am giving to that person. Here, take this book I did not like because I don't want it and you may think that I think your standards are lower than mine (which is not what I think of others) or take this book that I read which you will know is not my standards and therefore think a hypocrite of me.

b. Return the book to the store where I purchased it. I struggle with this because I read the entire book, which is the entire purpose of why the store sold the book to me. I feel like it is ordering a meal, eating the whole thing, telling the waiter I hated the meal and then expecting the meal to be taken off me check. Even though I ate the ENTIRE meal. Ahhh!! What to do!!

c. Donate it to the DI and feel guilty about donating a brand new book.

Scenario #2

Friends on Facebook.

I have a friend on facebook who we know each other and I love this person very dearly. Do we hang out? No! How often do we see each other? Maybe, once a year. Do we talk to each other when we see each other? Not really. However, when this person asked to friend me, I accepted. This person lives a very different life style than I do. I am not saying wrong or right, just different. They would post things that would make me feel extremely uncomfortable and then when the swearing started, I quietly deleted them from my group of friends. The deletion was not of judgement, it was purely for the sake that I prefer to live my life free from hearing, reading or saying those words. I love ya, but I choose to walk away.

However, this friend once again asked to friend me. Perhaps they had forgotten that we were friends and my suggestion came up again? Not sure, but I just ignored the invitation, because I didn't want them to think that I was judging and perhaps they would ............oh, I don't know what they think. After 3 friend invitations since leaving, I am not sure what to do. I love and respect this person, however I choose not to expose myself to things that are everyday for them. What do I do?

Oh, and by the way, what if I through in the twist that this person was a family relation?

Discuss amongst yourselves and let me know what you think?


Mackenzie said...

Well...two very interesting scenarios.

I had scenario 1 happen just a few months ago and I believe you suggested that I do (b). I might just give the book to the next person that wanted to read it. Or put it on paperbackswap.com. Someone will want to gobble it up. You get it out of your house and someone saves a few bucks on a book. Especially if it is the book I think it is.

Scenario #2: I think there may be an option on facebook to not get updates from that friend. Or, you just ignore the friend invites when they come up. Easy peasy.

Jenice Henrie said...

I know the book you are talking about and I have many friends that I could pass it on to. You can give it to me when I see you next. I will give you the "used" book repurchase price.

Regarding "B", there isn't much you can do. If you keep ignoring, there is a chance the next time you see this person they might ask "what's up." If they don't ask, then you have your answer. Let it slide until you see this person next and see what happens.

This is the way I would handle your problems. You have so much going on right now that you shouldn't worry about either.

BTW--Pictures of the cat?

jill said...

Question 1 looks like it's solved.

Question 2-The Facebook thing, I had a friend on there that was just SUCH a downer. I didn't want to read her comments anymore, this is what I did.

-Go to your Home page.
-Look for a comment made by that friend.
-Take your mouse and run it to the right of the persons name until you see a drop down (it appears only when you hit it with your mouse)
-There is an option that will allow you to no longer see that persons comments, I think it says "Hide ?"

This way you can still be friends but not see what she's writing.

Good luck!

I look forward to meeting you tomorrow!! :0)

Ann Marie said...

1st senerio.. If your Mom doesn't buy it.. I want it. I can't pay full price.. Are you selling the first one too?

2nd senerio..
I would:
If you feel REALLY guilty over it.. you can HIDE them. It will not show them on your page. I HIDE all sorts of games and quizes so I don't have to see them. It's great!

Kristen said...

1. Appears to be solved? Two offers on the book! Take the money and go buy more/better books at the DI. :) And thanks for saving me from buying it. I owe you one.

2. I was also going to suggest the "hide" feature on facebook. I hide all of those quizzes and things that pop up. Just look for the drop down menu on the upper right side of the post. Then you can be "friends" & not be subjected to their lovely language.

Cherie said...

Hmmmmm Suzanne I am very intrigued what book this could be.
For me I would just throw it in a closet. I read the Time Travelers Wife which has a good story but is full of a certain word. I probably should have just thrown it in a closet before I finished it but by then I was too into the story. Still I do not feel I can pass the book on, I definately would not take it to DI and I can't bring myself to throw a book out so into the darkness of the closet it goes. Kinda dumb!

Next problem is one reason I have no interest in Facebook. Sounds like hiding it is your best option.

Anonymous said...

I think you are judging a friend based on meaningless things. It doesn't make this person a BAD person for swearing...open yourself up a little and leave room in your life for people who aren't quite as perfect as you would like. Maybe you can be a good influence in his/her life. Just my thoughts.

Notre Folle Vie said...

I vote donate the book for part one.

Part two; both Brian and I double checked to see if we had been removed from your friends list. I was shocked he hadn't yet. ;)

I also know the story being part two and to be honest, since it is a family member, just be upfront and tell him. Otherwise it may drag on forever and truthfulness is better than hiding.

Notre Folle Vie said...

being = behind*

Sorry, pain meds = bad spelling

Me said...

Sounds like you have great advise from great friends...so I don't even know why I'm commenting. Oh well, I guess I'll give my 2 cents in anyways...

1) Follow your mother. Mothers always know best, right? J/K. But seriously, if she knows people that like that kind of book, make someones day by giving it to them at a discounted cost. I would feel the same way about returning it. It's like buying a beautiful necklace, wearing it to prom, and then returning it the next day once your done with it.

2) I would probably do the hide thing but I would most definitely tell them whats up. It's always best to be honest. I had a friend like that and I deleted them. Then they sent another request and I believe there is an option to comment to them before accepting them and I just told them why I deleted in the first place. Turns out she had no idea that's how things were coming across.

Good luck to you on both predicaments though!

Jenice Henrie said...

Hey, you could donate the book to the public library. It is a popular book and I am sure they have a waiting list. Also, that would be tax deductible.

Heather said...

Scenario 1. I would give it to someone who wants the book. I am sure who does will know your standards and just say, " I didn't care for the book. I didn't like certain things in the book but if you want it. Then here you go."

When I worked at the airport we didn't refund any books because of that reason, someone could read the book and then return it.

Scenario 2. I don't have a facebook but I have heard that you can hide people's comments. I would except the invite but hid the comments.


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