Monday, March 8, 2010

Setting the Record Straight!

There are a few items of business that have been on my mind lately that I feel that I would like the chance to set the record straight. So, lend me your compassionate ear for a moment as I confess my true feelings or what is really going on inside of my head.

1. Pregnancy and Babies!

I have found that in the last couple years of my life, a lot of women have become pregnant. (Duh!) I can almost guarantee that I am pretty much one of the last ones to know or at least one of the most painful to tell the news to. I finally had my visiting teacher confess to me that she did not want to tell me that she was pregnant because she felt bad that she could have children and I can't.

Well, I would like to set the record straight!

I rejoice in all pregnancies and all babies. Seriously, I am not bothered to hear that someone is pregnant. In fact, in my heart I am so happy for them. I know there are women who struggle with infertility issues that hearing that someone is pregnant is like hearing finger nails on a chalk board. However, I do not include myself in that category. I want to rejoice and celebrate with you on your newest family member. I only ask that you do not ask me to come over right after the baby is born. You see, kidnapping is a felony here in the state of Utah and I am doing my best to not steal any new born children that are absolutely irresistable! Please, do not be afraid to tell me! Your joy is my joy too!

#2. Who was I talking about in the Faith is Like a Seed blogpost.

When I wrote this post and talked about a specific woman, I left it so general because there are a few of you that read my blog that may know her. I feel very bad that there are some that inserted their names into that spot, whom I would NEVER had handled that situation in such a manner.

I would like to set the record straight!

Please let me tell you a little about the woman we fasted for. She went inactive with the church in her teenage years. Something happened and she was completely offended. Long story short, she married, had some kids, divorced and then married again. If you cannot tell, we are quite involved in missionary efforts and have watched as many of the members of the family have tried to become active again or become a member. She does not agree with this and unconsciencely ruins any opportunities. Her son asked to be baptized and wants to serve a mission and she pretty much ended that dream. She is the nicest and coolest woman I have met, and yet she is very persistant on her perspective of how she sees the church. Because I love her, I have to respect her feelings and honor her rules as a mother. However, it is so disheartening to see over a period of time that when great progression is made in helping that family, they seem to take 3 steps back. We have done everything we can to help this boy and now we have realized that if the mother will soften her heart a little, perhaps his wishes can be fulfilled. Until then, we love them and support them and respect their wishes.

If I were to enter a alterior name in the mystery woman for that post, if you knew me well, I would undoubtedly put my name in there. There are many aspects of my life that I could be accused of being stubborn and selfish. I only criticize myself with the decisions that I make. To those who may have been offended, I am sorry!

#3. Being Angry

My husband and I were driving home the other night late from meetings and as we are talking he sweetly says "I need to tell you something and you have to promise to not get mad!" To which my reply was, ok let's hear it.

He proceeds to tell me that he observes me during our meetings. Brian and I have the same callings in our respective auxillaries. He sits straight across from me at the table. He then tells me that when I am in deep thinking mode or very passionate about a point that I want to make, I look very angry.

To which I explained to him that I wasn't angry at all. He tells me that he knows that, but others may not see it that way at all.

OK, let me set the record straight!

I am not an angry person. Really, I don't get mad very much. I have had someone else tell me that they thought I was angry during a meeting in which my reply was, no not at all. I had a counselor that worked with me and she said that people would ask her what it is like to work with me and was I mad all the time? Wow! That was a shocker to hear! Plus, how do you fix that? If I smile all the time, well that could get really creepy. If any of you have suggestions, I am wide open. This perplexes me as if telling me to stop drooling when I sleep. How do you fix that?

So, I want my friends and family to know that if you see me and I look angry, most likely I am thinking deeply or have a perspective that I am very passionate about sharing. I am not mad all the time and I am really a quite pleasant person. I have my down days, but who doesn't?

If I was angry, I won't look you in the face, trust me, you will know if I am angry. But I doubt you will ever see my true anger because I am a pretty happy girl almost all the time. However, I am working on my deep thought and passionate looks so that those around me will not get the wrong impression. I am working on it! I am!


Julie Harward said...

You are a bigger person than me because in the 13 years or so that I couldn't get pregnant it hurt my heart so much when everyone around me was.
Fasting is a god thing, it can over power Satan and his fighting against good...good luck with her.
I too have been told that I looked so serious..from the time I was a teen even! I think I smile more now than I used works! :D

Heather said...

I love that you rejoice in some one else's pregnancy! I know it is really hard for some women to hear that some one is pregnant and they are not. My sister is one of them. She has tried for years and can't get pregnant. Ayla is like her daughter too. She loves her so much. It also helps my sister out that Ayla looks a lot like her. People always think she is hers not mine. This pleases my sister.

Me said...

I have to admit that I was one of those that was scared to tell you about our pregnancy...not so much because I was pregnant though but because we weren't expecting/planning it. I know it must be hard, but way to go on being positive. You'll be blessed for that.

And I'm glad you set the record straight on the other things. I think a lot of people look mad when they are concentrating-I know that I do. So I don't have any ideas for you there. Sorry!

And I hope your fast helps. I was just kidding about my comment on that post. I was trying to add some humor, but must have failed. I see that same behavior in someone I know and it hurts. But I have to let them live and learn and just let them know that I love them no matter what. And's not anyone that you know (just to set the record straight).

Kristen said...

I'm SO glad that Talmage will be a year soon - I won't have to worry about your kidnapping threats anymore. ;)

I've been in numerous meetings with you and never thought you looked mad. Honestly I wouldn't worry about it. Maybe people think you're made, but I highly doubt it. And really, people in a church meeting are much more concerned about when they're getting out of there than what everybody looks like, right! Ha!

I need to bring you replacement cookies, darn three year old sticky fingers...

Ann Marie said...

Setting the Record straight is a good thing. :)

I have always been told that I look Angry or Stuck up at times when I am in deep thought.. I think if I am shy.. this also happens.

Like Kristen said.. I think I'd be trying to catch more out of the meeting than worrying about how someone looks..

marisa said...

You are such an amazing woman and so inspiring to me.

I've personally never thought you have a mad looking face. During Temple Celebration, I would always look to you because I knew at least one person wouldn't look ticked off about the news I had to break.

When Michael is up on the stand, I have to make sure he doesn't have his "angry eyes" on (watch Toy Story for the reference). Maybe you and Brian could have a signal for when you have your "angry eyes" on.

Kimmie said...

I am laughing SO hard right now at your last comment about angry! I don't even know you in real life, but I don't think I have met someone in the blogging world who is as happy, positive, full of NICE-NESS as you!!

I know that I sometimes make faces when I am deep in thought and my kids ask me from time to time if I am mad and I tell them the same thing..."No, not at all"!

I always worry as well when I post something if someone will take it the wrong way, or I worry that they will think that I am referring to them, when I AM NOT!! When we all have different interests and sometimes we are the complete opposite of people that follow our Blogs it is sometimes easy to think that someone is being rude to you, but really, they are just posting their thoughts in their journals and not trying to cut anyone at all. (I hope that makes sense). My favorite book "The Four Agreements" is all about "not taking things personal" and that we usually don't see things as they really are...we see things as we are.

I haven't had things go perfect in the pregnancy department. You'll have to read my post on this on my Blog:

Life definitely doesn't turn out the way we want it to that is for sure and it sometimes it seems unfair. We have 2 great friends in our ward who are brothers. One couple has a 4 year old and can't seem to have anymore kids and the other couple is expecting #6.

It is really hard for the couple that only has one child to be happy for the other brother/sister-in-law and they feel like life is truly unfair and we hear "why me" ALOT from them. I just try and look on the bright side because at least they have one child and there are couples that can't have any at all.

I just have to tell you how much I love your happy and positive attitude! I hope you are going to be at the Blogging retreat that Cherie is hosting as it would be great to get to meet you!

Hope this finds you having a HAPPY day!


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