I awake this morning with a little anxiety. My summer alarm is slowly coming over the mountain and making it's precense known through the large rectangle window above my bed. I am in that state of half asleep and half awake and yet I am dreaming of words. Not actually visualizing the words, but hearing them in my head.
As these words are flowing and then becoming jumbled up, I sit up in my bed with a draw of breath. My heart is pounding and my hands feel numb. Today is the day I have been waiting for. My nerves begin to take over and my mind races. I just don't want to mess it up.
Brian is still asleep and promised me a blessing 2 nights ago. I won't bother him now but I need some sort of comfort at this moment. I walk across the house to my daughter's room. She is not present right now, but I can feel her in her room. I can hear her voice and I chuckle as I look at the arrangements she had made on her shelf and bed before she left. That child is something else.
I kneel down at her bedside and plead for the help that I seek. I quickly come to the conclusion that all I have left is sheerly my faith and the rest is up to him. Please be with me today, I can't do this without You. I sit up and open Shaeler's blinds as her window views out to our garden. I sit on her bed cross legged and say the words that have been imprinted on my heart. Please let them come clearly and freely. A sense of peace begins to take over and an over whelming feeling of everything will be alright.
I head back to my bedroom and Brian is still asleep. I wonder how he can sleep when the summer alarm is in full shine on the wall across from our bed. I grabbed an apple before I came in. He tries to look at me as I crunch down on my juicy apple.
There are some days that I actually wish it was winter. When the summer alarm goes off at 5:30 am or somewhere in there. In the winter, the alarm is set for 7:00 or later. But this morning, even with the fear, the anxiety and the panic, I am grateful for a peaceful way to be awoken this morning.
I can feel the warmth of the Son!