As I was working out this morning, I heard a song on Pandora that immediately flashed me back to a memory of Brian.
I am not one that is musically talented, but music has always played a huge part in my life. To know me, I have songs constantly running in my head. One day, I am going to write down the soundtrack that affects me on a daily basis and also with the big events.
Has that ever happened to you? You hear a song and it immediately flashes you back to a moment in time. I think there is a reason for this, but I haven't quite figured out why.
And so, I will give you some of the songs that have had a defining moment in my life. I won't go into full detail, but will try to give you short explanations with each song. Most are tied to Brian, some are tied to my own individual life changing moments. Also, they will not be in chronological order, so bear with me. Here we go:
Enya: "Watermark" - I would play this constantly on my piano at home. It was the song that I felt best expressed my longing for Brian over the 4 years we had very limited contact. For some reason it gave me hope to never give up and to be patient. A very calming song to my soul.
Garth Brooks: "To Make You Feel My Love" - The summer after I graduated high school, I went back to Canada where I was an Ambassador for a Business Training. I was staying with a good friend and we went and saw "Hope Floats". When this song played, I realized that my depth of love for Brian was beyond this world and realized that one day, I wanted to be his wife.
Patty Smith: "Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough - This song was playing in my car as I picked up my high school "boyfriend" to take him to work. I was panicking as to how intently he was listening to this song and then he got out of my car and I knew that it was over between he and I and he was going to break up with me for the first time.
K.D. Lang: "Constant Craving" This song is a timeless piece that will always remind me of our family trips to Las Vegas. When this song was played, the excitement of almost being there would charge us up.
Alison Kraus: "When You Say Nothing At All" - This is our song. If I had to pick one song that we both feel represents our relationship best, it would be this song. This song simply reminds me of Brian and our relationship.
Lady Antebellum: "I Run to You" - With all the craziness, business, and hectic schedules of our lives the past few years, this song sums and reflects the importance and survival of it all for us both.
Brandon Flowers: "Crossfire" - The trial of Brian and him almost dying on me.
Joseph Townsend: "Reverently and Meekly Now When we sing this hymn at church, I can't help but cry. This song changed my life. It is one of the few if not the only hymn that is about the Atonement and speaking in first person. If you look closely, majority of the other Sacrament hymns are in third person talking about the Atonement. This hymn is written as if the Savior is speaking directly to you. It is so beautifully written in it's instruction and explanation of a personal relationship with Him. Every time we sing this in church, I remember the "aha" moment that I finally realized the beautiful and cleansing power of the Sacrament and the Atonement of Jesus Christ. This has to be one of my favorite hymns.
These are just a few, but my list could go on much further. I chuckle to myself that Brian is not one that likes to watch musicals. Little does he know that our lives together has been one long musical that seems to never end.