Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Facebook: Friend or Not to Friend

I write this post today with a sheer curiosity as to what people's opinions about facebook and "friending" dilemma's. I recently joined facebook a few months ago for the sheer fact that I could keep track of some of the young women around me. I figured, if I wanted to know what they were up to, then I better be where I can see them. So, I signed up for Facebook.

My most recent concern is the "friending" portion of facebook. Sure, I have a huge list of people that I love to be friends with on facebook, but then there are others that I ask myself "why are you asking to be friends with me?"

For example, I have a couple people that wanted to friend me that I knew of their name in high school, but we never talked, we never hung out and now you want to be friends with me? Huh? I've been contacted by old boyfriends, guyfriends, people I never even knew their name in high school and now they want an open door access to my life. I have made the choice to turn a few down, would you have done the same?

I do not mean in any way to be criticizing facebook and my friends that are on it. I am just bothered by a few things and I am wondering, Am I the Only One?

Also, I am extremely intrigued by the "Suzanne is............................" sentence. It amazes me what some people put in that one little sentence. Some are really hilarious, some are helpful into one's lives and some are just stupid. Honestly, I really don't want to know when you are drinking or are going out to "party." It is not my place to approve or disapprove any or their actions, but of all the things that are happening in their life, THAT is what they put down as their one sentencer. It kills me!

So talk to me people, am I too sheltered and need to crawl back to my bubble of bliss, or are things just getting a little strange here?


Kristen said...

Kristen is commenting on your blog. :)

I turn people down all the time for friend requests. If I don't know them that well then why bother?

Me said...

Thats the great thing about Facebook (IMHO), is that you can be as social or as sheltered as you like and no one really has to know. I don't really use it much. About the only think I can do is update my status. Elie is better at uploading pictures then I am. And like you, I have turned down a couple of people, but I have added quite a few from High school and such. And I have to admit that's it been interesting seeing bits and pieces of who they are now.

I am by large a much better blogger. I try not to get to personal on facebook, but that is because my 'real close' friends all read my blog. But it has been fun reconnecting with a few people.

And the whole "Katie is ________." is taking me alot of getting used to. I don't EVER refer to my self in 3rd person.

So to answer your question before this comment turns into a novel. It's your facebook. You make it what you want to make it. You don't need to be friends with someone that you don't want to. If you feel that is living sheltered, then I'm sorry. I just see it as you being you and keeping you and your family safe. It's your facebook and nobody elses.

Ann Marie said...

LOL at Kristen's comment!

I seriously was going to do a post on this this week. True Story. I still may have too.. We'll see.

These are MY PERSONAL thoughts on it. Ready for a novel??

1- I am not I repeat Not going to friend people just because I knew them in high school. Or even a friend of a friend.

2- I FEEL GUILTY looking for people. I admit, I looked for a few Ex's, and then felt guilty after finding them. Why do I want to stir up all of those feelings again?? I felt bad and then abandoned facebook for a few days.

3- I went to 2 different High schools, and could be-friend LOADS of people.. But then I think.. Most of the people that I havent kept in touch with was for a reason. I have had different Best friends my whole life, and different seasons hung out with different people.. I'm not sure any of them would even have anything in commen with me anymore... I've changed ALOT.

4- I enjoy my little group of friends I have on mine, because they are mostly family, or current friends, so with alot of them ( that do not blog ) I am able to keep in contact with them.

5- Would I not "friend" certain people?? HECK YES! Does it matter what they think?? Because I had so many boyfriends in the past, I have to be careful. Very careful. Some of these guys could be in jail for all I know.. :)

6- I see why the concept of facebook is good, but that's pretty much it. I heard someone say that you don't really need high school reunions anymore with facebook now, and I see it to be true..

7- It is called FACEBOOK. I was so annoyed when I looked at my high school graduation class, because so many people had weird pictures ( not of them ) on their profile. I was having a hard enough time telling who some people were even from there pictures.. I guess I thought I somehow grew up, and everyone else was going to stay the same in my mind.. So not the case..
I wish on something like that people would show a close-up of who they are.. Craziness.

8- With blogs, I get inspired, learn many things, I'm keeping a journal and I have the opportunity to be a missionary.. I'm still trying to figure out what things are beneficial about being on Facebook. The only reason I stayed on is because some of my BFF's and family who do not blog are on it. It's nice to see and hear from them...

9- I think just like High school reunions are for some people, and others don't ever care to go see those people, it's the same thing..
I admit that I will never attend a reunion.. ( I'm not sure people would even recognize me without my ex by my side anyway....

Sorry I've written so much.. I so see your points..

Ann is Done writing/venting. :)

Miss Megan said...

Ah, the eternal question. To add the ex-boyfriend or to not add the ex-boyfriend. I myself have turned down a few - and yes, there are a lot of people who seem to add you simply for the sake of having lots of friends. I personally think if it's not right for you, it's better to be up-front at the beginning, rather than try to delete them later on. It saves everyone a lot of time and frustration. Do I sound like I have been through this before? Maybe it's because I have! LOL. Good luck!

Mom of twins.. said...

I have liked facebook and reconnecting with "some" old friends, not all! And I have not added any old boyfriends I don't find that neccasary! So like everyone else said, it's all up to you and it is your facebook page!

Mackenzie said...

A great question. Obviously one that people are pretty passionate about. I think it boils down to why you are using Facebook in the first place. I like it to reconnect with people I once knew well. I don't really put anything too personal on facebook, and if I am going to communicate something on a more personal level, I use the little email feature they have.
At the end of the day, I think if the friend request is from someone you would like to keep in touch with, great, accept it. If it is from someone you wish you could forget, then don't.

Carrie said...

I'll bite. Mmmmm goood!

I have not friended a couple of people. They could be some of the same people that you did. I'll admit, we went to high school with some real, let's say characters. :) I have found and reconnected with some people that I am glad for (YOU FOR INSTANCE). There are some I reconnected with and am now questioning why I was ever such good friends with them, who changed more - me or them. Since my blog is private, only a handful of my friends on there have access to it.
The only people I added as friends that I normally would not have are a couple of my cousins. I am related to some strange people. I really think that people just like having 200+ friends on there.
I think it was a good idea to help you keep an eye on your girls. What a good leader you are!

Natalie said...

Lots of comments.

Very passionate, too.

I have said 'yes' to befriending everyone who has asked ... except for the one stranger I didn't know. Got rid of him.

I hear Facebook is very addicting, which I didn't understand at first, but got a glimps at how that was possible. You can really spend a lot of time on it.

I agree with both sides of all the comments. People are immature, and many haven't grown up yet, and perhaps won't.

I will get on every day or every other day for just a moment and read what everyone's 'status' is. Some I find hilarious. It just lets me see what everyone is up to and doing, or not doing, by a quick glance on Facebook. 95% of them, I don't interact with. They don't send me messages, I don't send them messages.

I guess it's just fun to see how everyone has turned out. But I don't get sucked in.

{Mo} said...

I'm still just not sure what I think of facebook...I'm not really lovin' it, but don't totaly hate it either. I've recived some friend requests from people I know from high school (Ok, I knew everyone at my school and I mean everyone!), but they weren't friends? I think it's weird that they would send a request, but I haven't felt the need to say no yet, we'll see?

Clarke and Kamie said...

wow--you went on facebook to stalk your YW? CREEPY! :)
I like facebook. It's been fun to see pics and email people I haven't talked to in 10+ years. I just think I'm going to be careful about uploading pics. The blog is "protected" since it's private, but anyone you accept as friend can look at everything you have on facebook. (And I have 2 ex boyfriends as my friends on it! Should I feel guilty? It's been interesting to see updated pics--to see their wives and kids. You know you want to find that concert choir BF!!!)

Notre Folle Vie said...

I'm disconcerted on several levels.

I see your viewpoints but I am hesitant on how my actions are looked upon by others.

I suppose the fact is that everyone is viewed differently on both their blogs and facebook. How they are interpreted is decided by the individual.

I post what I want and if someone wants to be my friend on facebook I figure "Why not?" Maybe we weren't the best of friends in the past but that doesn't mean the future can not be different.

The Petersen Twins said...

Wow this is a full on thread...
I do think its fun to play around with the Status update. (I mostly put in 'working') And who doesn't like talking in third person?!

Also, to avoid random people asking for friend invites just change your name. I'm under an alias and so I don't get any of those awkward friend requests...

Lydia's going to sleep.

JENNIFRO said...

Facebook is "to each his own" if you ask me. You're an get to do whatever you want! I think we all have different reasons for being on FB or opting out. I definitely think there are no rules and you should do what feels comfortable for you.

I have loved it and add everyone basically, because I've been across the county for 15 years and so reuniting with old friends or even my old friends exciting to me! worries... IGNORE all you want...if you ask me.


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