Friday, January 15, 2010

Legend of the Pink Eye Sandwich!

It was a cold chilly morning and I awoke with anew pressure around the upper part of my head. It felt like someone had laid a brick over my eyes for a face mask all night long. I wasn't feeling well and therefore was not interested in getting out of bed.

"LET ME SLEEP!" shouted my body from every pore.

However, my husband had a different agenda for me. This was a time in my life that I was not working and staying home. Brian felt that it was unfair that I would get to sleep in and he would have to get up to go to work. So, he would very unsubtly do things to get me awake. Like leaving the lights on, asking me to make his lunch, being extremely noisy while getting ready. This was in our first home where the bathroom was on one side of the room and our walk in closet was on the opposite end. I slept next to the closet and every time he flicked on the light, it felt like someone was shining a bright flashlight in my face.

"LET ME SLEEP!" shouted my body again!
After much stirring, I was awakened enough that my bladder became awake too. So I headed to the bathroom where my husband was brushing his teeth.

"You ok?" he asks as I groggily stammer into the bathroom.

"No, I think I am coming down with something" as I am rubbing my eyes as they were adjusting to the brighter light.

"Well, maybe you should see the doctor! Hey, have you made my lunch yet?"

I stared back at the love of my life with an evil glare with the silent words, does it look like I want to make lunch today?

"No, I think I am going back to bed!" was my reply.

"C'mon, I need to get going and I don't have time. Go make my lunch." he pleaded.

So, I headed to the kitchen and bitterly made his sandwich, chips and cookies as my body was longing for the nice warm bed, hoping that the absence of my missing body that the bed would not cool down. I placed his lunch box on the kitchen counter and went back in the bathroom so I could finish my morning business, which was the original reason I went into the bathroom in the first place. He was just wrapping up and asks me:

"Did you wash your hands? You washed your hands before you made my lunch, right?"

Out sheer exhaustion, and not wanting to get up and make another lunch, pitying my sickly self, my reply was:

"Yes, I washed my hands!"

It was a lie! I LIED! Oh, the lowness of my decision, but all I could think of is that if I told the truth, I would have to get out of bed again and repeat the process that I had just done 10 minutes before. The mere thought was like torture.

So, my sweet trusting husband grabbed his lunch box and headed out the door.

And I blissfully went back to sleep to calm the sickly body and hopefully feel better.

I awoke a short time later and my eyes felt like crap. One was so full of junk that it almost kept my eye closed.

Uh-oh! This cannot be good. So I called the doctor and was able to get a mid-morning appointment. When asked my symptoms are I explained that I think I may have pink eye. Now in my defense, I have never had pink eye before this day. I had seen a couple cases, but never experienced for myself.

I drove into the doctor and was taken into one of the examination rooms. I am sitting on the little bed as the doctor comes in looking down at my chart

"Hello Suzanne! Looks here that you may have pink..
as he began the word eye, he looked me dead in the face and the word eye became


Followed by a whoa!
I was then diagnosed with double pink eye and was then instructed that it was extremely contagious and I needed to get rid of all my eye make up and not touch anything with out cleaning my hands first.


I thanked my doctor as he sent me out the door with some prescriptions.

First things first, I called Brian!

"Hello" he said as he answered the phone.

"DONT EAT THE PINK EYE SANDWICH!!" I exclaimed in the phone!

"What? Did the doctor tell you that you have pink eye?"

"EYESSZZZ!" I explained.

I then hear a chuckle on the other side of the phone. "You said you washed your hands."

"Yeah, yeah! I lied! Don't eat the sandwich, ok!"

"Ok, thanks for the heads up, we were about to have lunch."

"No problem, now I am going back to bed."

And that was the end of my sandwich making days. I was not asked to make another lunch again until now and I promise I wash my hands every time! OH and one other thing, I learned my lesson and I am nothing but an Honest Abe!


Mackenzie said...

Thanks for your comment. I am pretty excited about this. I really think, though, that you would rather run on our team than be an alternate on his team. Come on, we would be the running princesses!!!!

Joy For Your Journey said...

What a funny story! And that picture is disgusting!! Seriously. I am glad I have already eaten or I am sure I would have lost my appetite.

Carrie said...

ha ha ha! I probably would have done the same thing. Lied about it and then called. Probably even down to the glares that had words of their own. ha ha ha!

Lisa said...

Too funny. Those husbands they get us every time.

Cherie said...

That was a great story! I was chuckling. I would have lied too - Oh heck I would have told him to make his own dang lunch (I am kind and compassionate that way when I don't feel good - hee hee)!
Thanks for sharing and I can totally understand your lunch "thing" now :D

JENNIFRO said...

You are a funny girl and honest! I would've happily let him catch the pink eye and laughed all the way to dreamland!


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